Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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