Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
