I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
