if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
