somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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