singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
