he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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