Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
