the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
