I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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