i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
