I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
