Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
