how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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