I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She even gives head with a lisp.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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