I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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