I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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