I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
