but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
