I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You are the jesus of drinking
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
