Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
