Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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