I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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