She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
