North Korea, Best Korea!
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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