theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
