thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She's the barista slut.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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