why didn't you poke me back
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
