And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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