Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize