He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
