If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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