So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize