whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My pussy is not your playground.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
