Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
