At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
