Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
