The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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