how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
