i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
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Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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