i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
