What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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