it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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