there's paper in my vomit.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
