Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
