I think i peed on brittanys purse
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize