i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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