Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
