Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
