Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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