Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
