We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
