It's Friday. Sex?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
