you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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